April 13, 2017


For God hath not given us the spirit of fear;
but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
2 Tim 1:7

You took slowly my PEACE and JOY until there's nothing left in me.

You dragged me down into the world of DARKNESS and made me LOST my self.

You trapped me into something seems good.

You tried to cover yourself with all things I ever wanted.

And then you leave me feeling ashamed, broken and alone.

You always learn how to defeat me in different ways.

You know my weakness.

You know who I am.

But now, I also know who you are.

You are the prison without wall.

You are the mind-killer.

I don't want you to control over my situation and my decision.

I don't want you to define how I live and how I decide things in my life.

I will make sure that you are not the reason for anything I do in my life.

And when you are gone, there will be nothing, only I will remain.

I will still be here with my heart in the right place.

Your largest FEAR
your greatest GROWTH

August 03, 2015

The Strongest Woman

They said: 'You never know how strong you are, 
until being strong is the only choice you have.
Fall down 99 times, stand up 100 times'.

But, personally, I never had a chance to see with my own eyes 
what is the worst thing that ever happen to someone 
that can make me see how that words above works.

And, your life is like a movie 
and I am the one who watching you get up and get up again.

Now, I can say:
You are the strongest woman I have ever known in my life. 
You are the one who loves beyond all faults. 
You are the one who cries behind closed doors. 
You are the one who is able to smile this morning like you were not crying last night.
You are the one that fights battles that nobody knows about. 
You are someone who shows no weakness in front of people. 
You win battles that maybe even me, I can't guarantee to be able to do that. 

With you, I can experience what Bible say:

Love your enemies, 
bless them that curse you, 
do good to them that hate you, 
and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;

This verse, is the hardest thing to do, even for the people who talk about 'The Light'
I saw with my own eyes, they curse who curse them.
They stuck in hate in their hearts, and try to cover it with their prayers.

And you, you don't tell 'The Secret' to anyone to support you.
You just ask a little request to one person: 'Can you hug me, so I can feel better?'
I just love you,
I am proud to know you,
and I am grateful to have you in my life.

July 14, 2015

Help Me with Temper

Dear Lord,

Help me with temper.
Remove the stress and anger in my heart.
Give me the wisdom to handle the things that irritate me 
and instruction to handle situations that I am low-tolerate of.

I hold a lot on the inside because I struggle with verbally communicating my thoughts and feelings.
The weight on my heart is heavy.

The pain, hurt, and regrets carries over to my attitude causing me to treat others unkindly, short-tempered and abusive with my words.

Please help me to gain self-control, 
to ignore ignorance and to master the areas I'm weakest at.

I exchange my burdens for your peace.
In Jesus' name.



June 10, 2015

Release Over My Life

Dear Lord,

I open up my hands and my heart to you.
I choose to release every spiritual stronghold,
I choose to release every physical pain,
and I choose to release every emotional pain from my past.

I've walked around with the weight of my problems long enough.
I speak a release over my life.
Nothing will keep me from my best.

Search my heart O God.
Show me where I need to make adjustments to make room for you.
In Jesus' name.



May 10, 2015

10 Things You Should Never Say

Happy World Lupus Month
I hope that the more people know about Lupus, the more people can get tested, and the more people can get helped quickly. I don't know Lupus better than you, but I just want to share what I knew and what I experienced with Lupus suffer. I did mention this 10 things to someone suffer from Lupus, and I just want you to not do the same thing. And maybe, somehow, it can helps you to understand your friend or family who suffers from Lupus. My purpose is to bring the knowledge so we can understand them (Lupus Suffer) better. That's all they need. 

Here, 10 things that you have to think twice or maybe better to not mention to people who suffer with Lupus:

1. It's all about your mind. If you think you are sick, then you'll be sick. Try to be more positive about your self.
The sickness is in their blood. In their immune system. Even they have the most positive mind, it doesn't change their condition with lupus. 

2. My best friends cousin has Lupus and she's doing great or my best friend's cousin passed away from Lupus.
Lupus is a chronic desease. It affects everyone differently. And you cannot compare one to another. They are dying everyday. They are fighting everytime. The thought to die one day because of this disease is the worst thing. So, it's better to not mention that.

3. But you don't look sick, so it can't be that bad.
This is the most frustrating comment for the people with Lupus. They feel the pain so real in their body but people cannot see the pain. 

4. Maybe you have to do more exercise so you're not always feeling sick.
They are sick. That's the only reason why they always feeling sick. Nothing to do with exercise. Even minimal activity can cause flare up.

5. You're over exaggerating. It could be a lot worse.
The pain is unbearable for people who suffer with Lupus. Please, believe then when they said they are in pain and sick. They just try to explain what they feel. That's it.

6. You don't get out enough
Do you know the sun is dangerous for people with Lupus? They are not allowed in the sun. Some medication forbid them to be in the sun. The sun causes flare-up and condition to worsen.

7. You don't believe how tired I am
People with Lupus always feeling tired. They can't even do what they plan because this sicken so unpredictable. In knowing that Lupus is unpredictable may help other people understand their physical and emotional ups and downs as well as the changes that they may have to make to schedules, plans, and commitments.

8. Have you lost/gained weight? 
One drug called Prednisolone can puts pounds on for no reason. Some people with Lupus are getting so much weight because of this medicine. But they have no choice than taking this drug over years.

9. You have so many bruises. Is everything ok?
Yes, they are trying to be ok. Many of them take medications that cause skin to thin, which allows for easy bruising.

10. What's that on your face?
Some people with Lupus got skin rashes. The most common is the butterfly-shaped rash that appears on the faces. If you do know about Lupus, sure, you can wonder what it is. But, don't you dare ask about it. Even if it wasn't a mark of Lupus, that is a personal question that shouldn't be asked. Especially if you don't know the person very well.


April 25, 2015

Kasih yang Sejati

Bagi saya, kasih yang sejati adalah kasih yang tidak ada ketakutan di dalamnya. 

Tidak takut ditinggalkan.

Tidak takut disakiti.

Tidak takut dikecewakan.

Karena ketika kasih itu benar-benar sejati, 
ia tidak memberi ruang untuk hal apapun 
selain terus mengasihi dan mengasihi.

Realita saat ini membuat dunia semakin ragu akan kekuatan kasih yang sejati.

Namun, percayalah bahwa kasih itu masih ada di dalam keyakinan akan perubahan yang lebih baik.

Kuasa cinta selalu ada dan terbukti mampu mengubahkan yang telah rusak dan mendamaikan yang berseteru.

March 10, 2015




H A V E 
O N L Y 

Pulang ke Kupang untuk melihat oma yang sedang terbaring sakit selama 3 bulan.
Semua perasaan bercampur aduk dalam hati.
Berharap oma bisa sembuh.
Berharap bisa bertemu oma, sebelum oma pulang ke rumah Bapa di surga.
Berharap bisa mendapatkan kesempatan untuk mengungkapkan isi hati terdalam.

February 23, 2015

Look Up

Truly I tell you, 
if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, 
you can say to this mountain, 
'Move from here to there,' and it will move. 

Nothing will be impossible for you. 

- Matthew 17:20-21 -

I am thinking about true prayer. 
If I am to spend time and energy praying that families, friends, and colleagues become spiritually alive.
I need faith, even as small as a mustard seed: 
Faith in our God who answers prayer, 
and trust that my prayers will make a difference. 

I need to know that this 'prayer project' has approval from 'heavenly places' and is totally aligned with God's mission. 

I need to believe that 
'they' are not beyond God's power to save.

I need to always remember, 
God loves them more than I could love them.

I cannot always find a way to their heart, 
but God is always able to touch them.

But, beyond on my best wishes for them, 
God knows the best for everyone, 
and I trust His heart.

Feb 23, 2015

February 14, 2015


F:   Fight for you
R:  Respect you
I:   Include you
E:  Encourage you
N:  Need you
D:  Deserve you
S:   Stand by you

Be a Friend.
Find a Friend.

Taken from Instagram @bradscotjohnson

January 05, 2015

Faith #1

M  a  y  a . . .

don't W O R R Y about A N Y T H I N G;
i  n  s  t  e  a  d,
P R A Y about E V E R Y T H I N G

T E L L God what you N E E D
a   n   d
T H A N K Him for all he has done
t   h   e   n
you will experience God's P E A C E,
which exceeds anything we can understand.

His P E A C E will G U A R D your hearts and minds
as you L I V E in CHRIST JESUS

F I X your thoughts on what is T R U E,
and H O N O R A B L E,
and R I G H T,
and P U R E,
and L O V E L Y,
and A D M I R A B L E.

THINK about that are E X C E L L E N T,
and W O R T H Y of praise.

Keep putting into P R A C T I C E all you learned.
For, you can do E V E R Y T H I N G through CHRIST,
who give you S T R E N G T H.
-Phil 4-

Darwin: 20.30 PM
Jan 3, 2015